Love « Music – Reviews

How To Love

I have got some, let me say, kinda different requests from some. Requests to get the opportunity to teach me to love again….hmm. I got an idea from that which means I will leave my own lesson in how to love.

You know friends, beside my music production I am writing a lot. I have always done, for good and for bad…in wet and dry. I am a true lover of writing. Poems, novels and directly from life.

To love someone is a wonderful feeling which can not be described fully in words, it must be experienced. Yes, that is it. From the beginning it can be just a glance telling you that something is on the way, but you are not so sure if your possible interest is responded even though you can feel that your knees are shaking or your heart is taking an extra jump. You can also feel a kinda reaction from the other part. It can be glances, just a simple smile, a look in the eyes, or just a hug. But here you can never be sure.

You leave “him” but he is still in your mind and as the days pass by your thoughts are growing stronger and stronger, pending between the reality (where you are telling yourself that he is not interested and that you are childish) and your new thought/wish. If you get the opportunity to meet this person again it is more easy to know if he is interested or not, but still you can never know how much, and how deeply.

If you get your feelings responded, you are in a complete surge the first months. You do not need any food (at least less than normally) You are mostly happy and are treating others like if they were your gold stones, you have easy to laugh, smile and act good. But friends, you do not love, yet. It is still an attraction. There´s a big difference between to be “in love” and to love.

Real love comes growing. When you feel that you can “eat” every part of the person, when you can not imagine yourself without him one single day. When you just hear his voice even though others are talking. When you have the one who asks you “how are you”, “how do you think”, “what do you want”, and really share your thoughts at the same levels. When you feel uncomfortable and a bit worried when he is not appearing. When you have found the one you can talk about everything with and undepending of which hour – and he is still listening and advice you to do “this or that”. When he is understanding your negative aspects/experiences of life and understands when you need to be alone for a while. When you feel that you can open up yourself, give from yourself whatever it costs you in time and effort. When you can listen for hours, laugh and enjoy. When you really get hurted if he says something negative, which normally would not hurt you that much. All is about respect. Then you LOVE:

So, how can you know all this before it happens? Well, actually you can not. You can just read it, hear it from others but to get the whole thing you must experience it yourself.

To get hurted when you love takes time to repair. Maybe you have been hurted so much so you can not feel anything for others, you have a hard time to trust a new person as you are afraid that he will do the same. Maybe you have been left to your own destiny – maybe you have to take respons over your childs alone and suddenly become two persons. Mother and Father, while watching the other part just ignoring you with others at the pubs every weekend. That hurts. Maybe, as you have given all of your self and your life to the one you loved, you have lived a life where friends was not a big part of it and where you had to study very hard to finally reach a good job. Just to get a future for yourself and your children. Maybe you also get misunderstood, that you are a bad person, a bad mother/father even though your thoughts, plans and everything was something good and something you believed in.

I once heard a song here in Sweden “If you have a friend you can wake up in the middle of the night, then you are rich within the most beautiful things ever”. That is too true….

Soo, it still confuses me to get emails where people are declaring their true love after some simple mail conversations. That is really hard to trust. It is a difference between to be in love and tell it, and to love.