Today mars 18 I bought a packet Kent cigarettes in Östersund Sweden at the petrol station OK, Körfältet. Our biggest suprise when we are smoking them and it tastes so very bad. I have felt dizzy, have had headache, hard to breathe, pain in my body, and have had hard to manage sitting close to electricity. I broke the filter in two pieces and got a shock! In there I found some kind of gravel, small small pieces. It looks lke something you are using when you intend to make a fire or grill.

I have seen these particles before, once, when my mother bought cigarettes, but it was only a few. Now the filter is full of them.

I went back to the petrol station and the staff got a shock, they had never seen anything like this and told me to call the tobacco company. I have emailed them (British American Tobacco Nordic) today because of course I want to know what this is???

I have never been allergic against cigarettes before and I have had a hard time to understand why I have had so hard to breath even though I stopped smoke for 6 months. (after I begun again)

I am a singer and in a big world music project called Ray of Hope – if I do not have my lungs I wont be able to sing. We are in a shock in the family.

Best Regards
Siv Boström
Sweden

Because of spammers and stupid people my host has temporary closed my website, to check this up.

During this time I will use one of my new websites:
Sivans NEW temporary website!!!!

I hope all of you will visit this site and feel free to send me
a note in the guestbook (link on the site)

Much love and a wish of a pleasant summer for you,
Sivan

Recently uploaded a new demo acoustic song version of my song “Against All Odds”, in my MySpace player.

This version is the first step on this song
and I will work more on it during the autumn/winter time.

Check it out and let me hear what ya think

My best,
Sivan

Take your time and listen through some of European Sivan´s tracks. And more to come in the future…

HOLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.myspace.com/sivanto

http://www.soundclick.com/sivan

NEW WEBSITE!!!!!!

http://sivan.freezoka.com

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The ongoing RiffStar Contest is going on 19 more days. I need votes.

If you like it vote on the song and help me up. There is an internal and external vote system so if you see “no votes”, never mind about it

Vote for Sivan..s “Wild” here

My Best to all,
Sivan

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Behind The Stars

Unread Hidden Book

Thats Freedom

What I Need To Live

Wild

You

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I have got some, let me say, kinda different requests from some. Requests to get the opportunity to teach me to love again….hmm. I got an idea from that which means I will leave my own lesson in how to love.

You know friends, beside my music production I am writing a lot. I have always done, for good and for bad…in wet and dry. I am a true lover of writing. Poems, novels and directly from life.

To love someone is a wonderful feeling which can not be described fully in words, it must be experienced. Yes, that is it. From the beginning it can be just a glance telling you that something is on the way, but you are not so sure if your possible interest is responded even though you can feel that your knees are shaking or your heart is taking an extra jump. You can also feel a kinda reaction from the other part. It can be glances, just a simple smile, a look in the eyes, or just a hug. But here you can never be sure.

You leave “him” but he is still in your mind and as the days pass by your thoughts are growing stronger and stronger, pending between the reality (where you are telling yourself that he is not interested and that you are childish) and your new thought/wish. If you get the opportunity to meet this person again it is more easy to know if he is interested or not, but still you can never know how much, and how deeply.

If you get your feelings responded, you are in a complete surge the first months. You do not need any food (at least less than normally) You are mostly happy and are treating others like if they were your gold stones, you have easy to laugh, smile and act good. But friends, you do not love, yet. It is still an attraction. There´s a big difference between to be “in love” and to love.

Real love comes growing. When you feel that you can “eat” every part of the person, when you can not imagine yourself without him one single day. When you just hear his voice even though others are talking. When you have the one who asks you “how are you”, “how do you think”, “what do you want”, and really share your thoughts at the same levels. When you feel uncomfortable and a bit worried when he is not appearing. When you have found the one you can talk about everything with and undepending of which hour – and he is still listening and advice you to do “this or that”. When he is understanding your negative aspects/experiences of life and understands when you need to be alone for a while. When you feel that you can open up yourself, give from yourself whatever it costs you in time and effort. When you can listen for hours, laugh and enjoy. When you really get hurted if he says something negative, which normally would not hurt you that much. All is about respect. Then you LOVE:

So, how can you know all this before it happens? Well, actually you can not. You can just read it, hear it from others but to get the whole thing you must experience it yourself.

To get hurted when you love takes time to repair. Maybe you have been hurted so much so you can not feel anything for others, you have a hard time to trust a new person as you are afraid that he will do the same. Maybe you have been left to your own destiny – maybe you have to take respons over your childs alone and suddenly become two persons. Mother and Father, while watching the other part just ignoring you with others at the pubs every weekend. That hurts. Maybe, as you have given all of your self and your life to the one you loved, you have lived a life where friends was not a big part of it and where you had to study very hard to finally reach a good job. Just to get a future for yourself and your children. Maybe you also get misunderstood, that you are a bad person, a bad mother/father even though your thoughts, plans and everything was something good and something you believed in.

I once heard a song here in Sweden “If you have a friend you can wake up in the middle of the night, then you are rich within the most beautiful things ever”. That is too true….

Soo, it still confuses me to get emails where people are declaring their true love after some simple mail conversations. That is really hard to trust. It is a difference between to be in love and tell it, and to love.

Finally, thanks to all of you sending me so beautiful poems. I really enjoy them.

Have a wonderful week friends
Much Love
Sivan

How do you use your days???????

Some in this world are working double time, a good example of this is Turkish people.
Some of them (regarding to information I got from some friends there years ago) are working up to 14-16 hours
without much rights. Who is talking negative about them and how much they care about their families?!
I believe they are caring as their intentions have to be to reach more money and a higher income!

In Sweden, normally we work 100% on 8 hours, 5 days a week (40 hours a week). Many haave families and enjoying the time with them, mainly on the weekends when they are off. We also have people working on the weekends. It can be in hospitals, kiosks,food stores. Thank you to them, so that we can shop.

We also have unemployed people and people in need of to be in the sick of leave. If you are unemployed you have to look for job within a reasonable area at first, but later after some days you have to look everywhere. Sometimes it feels like you have to be a king or proffessor to get the simpliest job here. Suspicious employers, demanding unbelievable things such as you have to have a car to get a job, you have to have cancelled your military, you have to promise not to get any more children, you have to have an interesting privacy. You have to be 1000% healthy.

This is not reasonable. We are humans, not machines.

You also have a group of single people who has got the luck to get help in private to look after their kids, so that they can study to reach high marks, later bullyied of people who cannot reach this levels. So, why? I think it is very normal to reach a higher level if you have more time to work on a thing..and it also depends on how much time and effort you choose to put in.

You have also people who get things faster than others, and that way can find out how to use softwares, machines, and other things. I think we always have to accept the fact (I have experienced that many times myself!) that we have people above us….people who always make things better than we are doing ourselves. We have to cope with that and stop finding problems and bad parts in the creations, just to satisfy ourselves and our (regarding to ourselves)
possible bad works.

Learn to compete with yourself, do not compete with others. I learnt that during my years as a student in different universities. If you always have your glance of what your friends are working with, then you feel yourself less good and automatically you make less good jobs.

To temporary work in a group or compare your job is ok,  but do not use that thing as a permanent kind of competition. Ok, you can feel stressed by some single persons, always at the top, but if you find piece within yourself you will relax and not care about that after a while. There will always be people whose intentions are not to deliver to be a celebrity or to be famous on the first hand. They deliver because they like to produce and they are creative humans! Thank the lord for these ones, as we are able to listen through so much good music, and able to view so many animations and good pictures and much more.

Learn to cope with your inner strength and use it to something creative instead of using the power to blacklist others so that you do not have to feel that you have to make a similar thing yourself. ASK the people you are having an envy for and learn from that….just a tip.

Create, listen through, change, ask others for advice if possible – otherwise you can compare yourself a little by often
listening through your different pieces to find mistakes. You can also take a brief view of
others creations, view others pieces, but do not forget to use your own basic plans.

Finally, deliver!

After that, be satisfied with your own job and have a good sleep at night.

Keep on living all my friends,
Sivan